Just the Fics Volume Four (Part 1/2)

Season 1 of ShamFiction has been over since January, and it's finally time for our final Just the Fics collection! In this special episode, we bring you nothing but the fiction from episodes 37-51. No pitches. No discussion. Just fics! Even so, we ended up having so much content this quarter that we had to split this episode into two parts! In this first half, enjoy eisodes 37-45!

52: Season One Finale Special

Jeepers, gang, the ShamFiction guys have had a heck of a year, and now it's time to reflect, celebrate, and look to the future! What could be in store for our intrepid sham-writers? When will we hear from them again? How might one beat the Drej? These questions and more will be answered in this exciting (and lengthy!) special finale episode of ShamFiction!

51: HamFiction #3: Marcus writes Mad Men

This week, we're going MAD! ...ison Avenue as Marcus writes the sixties-set, smoke-filled, booze-soaked drama, Mad Men! Meanwhile, your hosts may be legitimately going mad. Like the "crazy" kind of mad. Why? Because Eric and Marcus believe they're on a ham-themed show, and Andrew may be losing sight of what's real and what's make believe! And how does Mad Men fit into their salty scheme? Because it stars Jon Hamm, of course! That makes sense, right? Right? NO! It doesn't! That was a test! It doesn't make sense because there's no such thing as HamFiction! There never was! It's all smoke and mirrors, people! You've been duped by a couple of sham-artists! My, how fitting! It was a SHAM all along! Being tricked doesn't feel good, does it? Just remember, I tried to tell you. Now, please excuse me. I'm going to take up smoking. <3 Andrew

50: HamFiction #2: Andrew writes Spider-Ham

HamFiction continues into its triumphant second episode! This week, Andrew spins a tale of romance and adventure as he explores a day in the life of the Amazing Spider-Ham! He's part spider, part ham, and all ham! This bit definitely isn't getting old, just ask Andrew! It's HaaaaaaamFiction!!!

And once again there's a song! Download it here.

49: HamFiction #1: Eric writes Hamilton

This one's for all the bastard orphans out there! Especially those who are sons of Scotsmen and whores. Preferably dropped in the Carribean. Impoverished to squalor? Even better! This one's for you! We thought we'd never get there, but this week Eric sham-writes, or perhaps ham-writes, the inimitable Hamilton: An American Musical!

Wanna hear more of Eric's NSFW take on Hamilton? DOWNLOAD THE MP3

48: Marcus writes Lost at Sea

Time to gas up and hit the road with the ShamFiction boys! Our destination: self-discovery! We're coming-of-age this week as Marcus sham-writes a sensitive tale of lost souls, roadside diners, and SO MANY CATS! It's Bryan Lee O'Malley's debut graphic novel, Lost at Sea! We're all huge fans of BLOM, so this one's pretty special. If you, too, are a fan of his work, including his popular Scott Pilgrim series of comics, you're in for a treat! There be references abound here! In fact, if this episode had a face, we would kiss it! XOXO

Lost At Sea

From the Vault: Star Wars - Rebels: A Star Wars Story: Holiday Special

This week, we dig deep into the Jedi archives and uncover a very special holocron from Life Days past! It's a secret episode of ShamFiction that the guys recorded in the fall of 2015 before the show even began, which means you're in for a treat - or at least you would be if you considered a slight reduction in production values a treat! But what's that? You've got a bad feeling about this? Fear not, my young apprentice! Andrew is at the helm and he's not such a bad writer himself! He may not look like much, but he's got it where it counts. He'll make .5 past write speed... Anyhoo, away put your weapons, pour yourself a glass of blue milk, and come with us to a galaxy far, far away as Andrew writes Star Wars - Rebels!

47: Andrew writes The Girl with All the Gifts

It's Andrew's birthday! Well, the release day of this episode is. How fitting that Eric and Marcus should choose this installment to introduce your favorite ShamFiction host to The Girl with All the Gifts. Darling Andrew is in for a surprise though, as the titular "Gifts" aren't really of the kind you would expect on your birthday. They're talents, morelike, or abilities. If you'd like to know more about the titular "Girl" and these titular "Gifts," give this episode a listen; though we recommend listening on a full stomach. If you're hungry, don't expect Andrew to share any of his birthday cake. He likes carrot cake, if you were curious. You weren't? Okay. No worries.

46: Eric writes Accounting VR

The future is now! Virtual Reality lets you explore the world, fight aliens, or perform magic from the comfort of your own home. Or you can try accounting! Why not? Are you too good for accounting? It's important! There are numbers! This week Eric imagines strapping on an HTC Vive and writes a Shamfiction first, choose-your-own-adventure rendition of Accounting VR by Crows Crows Crows and Squanchtendo.


45: Marcus writes The Colour of Magic

Jumping from one beloved author to another, this week Marcus takes on Sir Terry Pratchett's epicly hilarious discworld series! That's right, Andrew and Eric actually read a book that Marcus hadn't! So, if you've got a sapient pearwood chest full of gold and a little extra fuzz on your toes, then strap on your sword and sandals and join Marcus on a dangerous and magical quest (tinted a light shade of octarine) to discover The Colour of Magic!

44: Andrew writes The Gunslinger

We couldn't leave Stephen King alone! This week, Andrew is joining the last Gunslinger, Roland Deschain on his search for the Dark Tower. There will be bullets flying and beasts who have lost the thread as we wind through the great expanse in pursuit of the Man in Black. Plus, there's seriously like cow's-head-wine or something. Honestly. Leave the trail in Andrew's take on The Gunslinger!

43: Eric writes 11/22/63

This week, jump into a time hole with us and journey back to the 1960s! The trip won't be all fun and games though; we've got a mission. We're going to prevent the assassination of President John F. Kennedy and create a better future for the world! And it isn't going to be easy because time itself isn't on our side! Time is all like, "Hey, dudes! You can't just go back and change me! There'll be consequences, yo!" What are said consequences? Find out in Eric's sham of Stephen King's 11/22/63!

Read the fiction here.

11/22/63: A Novel
By Stephen King

42: Marcus writes The Iron Giant

Travel back to a simpler time when school desks were your best defense against nuclear weapons, and giants were made of good ol' fashioned iron - well, space iron. Yes, animation fans, this week we're shamming director Brad Bird's breakout classic, The Iron Giant! Marcus is our writer because somehow a movie about robots and teaching them to love snuck past him. It's the perfect match of sham-writer and material! This episode is bound to excite, thrill, and entertain you so much that you'll scream "HOG HUG!" at the top of your lungs! Quit worrying about the Communist menace and listen already, tiger!

41: Andrew writes Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

It's finally happening, gang. ShamFiction is crossing the barrier between platforms 9 and 10 as Andrew tackles that holiest of holies known as Harry Potter fanfiction! Sure, he's read all the books and seen all the movies, but he hasn't read the published script for the hit West End production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, so it counts! Completely sham-able! So listen up as we dust off our Quick-Quotes Quills and set our Time-Turners way way back, and prepare yourself for this epic two-part episode (really it's just one really long episode) of the show! Accio heartstrings!

40: Eric writes Scream

Happy Halloween, sham-listeners! We've reached our final destination on the Spooky-tober trail! Let's kick this episode off with a question: Do you like scary movies? The killer in this week's property sure does. He'll quiz you on them before he MURDERS you! Jeepers creepers, gang, that means it's time to sham horror-movie-maestro Wes Craven's nineties classic, Scream! Will this week's sham-writer, Eric, be able to sufficiently (and self-referentially) spook us? Will Marcus struggle to mask his dislike of the film? Will Andrew claim to be a movie expert and get most of his references wrong? All these questions (and more) will be answered! BOOGA BOO!

Read the Fiction.

39: Marcus writes Stranger Things

Our next Spooky-tober stop is in Hawkins, Indiana. 1983. A boy named Will Byers has vanished, and it doesn't feel like an ordinary incident. There's been a lot of movement at a nearby government facility ever since; Will's mom, Joyce, swears that her son has been communicating to her through lightbulbs; and Will's friends have met a weird girl with a shaved head near where he disappeared. Our man Marcus is on the case, but he'll soon realize these aren't normal things, nor simply strange things. These are... Stranger Things!

38: Andrew writes I Am Not a Serial Killer

Spooky-tober continues with Andrew's dark take on Dan Wells' horror/thriller, "I Am Not A Serial Killer"! Venture deep into the mind of John Wayne Cleaver, an unassuming youth in small-town America who has a dark secret. He battles with urges to kill and a fascination with the morbid. He wants to stay strong, but will Mr. Monster get the better of him? Join us for this chilling tale.

37: Eric writes Suicide Squad

To kick off our Halloween-themed Spooky-tober series, Marcus and Andrew implant an explosive into Eric's head and tell him to go save the world with a team of DC Comics villains you all know and love! We've got everyone! The Joker! Harley Quinn! Deadshot. El Diablo... Slipknot...? Captain Boomerang...?! You know and love all of them, right? We swear we didn't make any up - even if one shares a name with a popular masked heavy metal band from the mid-aughts. Do you know what happens when you order those bad guys to do good? It turns into some sort of... Suicide Squad! Listen, if you dare... BOOGA-BOO!

Read the fiction.